


only child of the universe

by ohallows (dean_n_pie)



Series: our story isn’t done [2]
Category: DC - Fandom
Genre: Cuddling, M/M, angst (mainly), mention of other characters (mainly speedsters), speedforce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:21:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dean_n_pie/pseuds/ohallows
Summary: Bart gets lost in the speed force and has to find his way back home.





	only child of the universe

**Author's Note:**

> this is self-indulgent and not what i wanted to write and also not a continuation of 'the prince the fool' but its where it belongs? it's an in-between point between 'tptf' and the fic i really want to write. but i digress.  
> title from a fob song bc i'm Predictable™

A week later, Bart gets lost in the speedforce.

  
It's just as awful and disorienting as Jay and Max and Grandpa Barry and Wally say it is, but _worse_ , because Bart can't feel himself, and it doesn't matter how many speedsters tell him what that feels like, it's not something you can imagine until it actually happens to you.

  
He's fighting Inertia when it happens, pushing him through the speed force, when they're torn away from each other and Bart feels like he's been kicked in the chest.

  
It's hard to breathe, and he grabs at his throat, but at the same time he feels like he doesn't have a body, like he's just consciousness traveling along in a spark of electricity, and no one told him just how _overwhelming_ it felt.

  
The threads in his mind are unraveling and he's grasping at every last one of them.

  
Wally said that when he got lost, he needed a lightning rod. That he thought of Linda. Jay said that he thought of Joan. Max - Max had hmmphed at the both of them and unfolded the newspaper. He'd gotten out by thinking through it, by refusing to get lost, by holding himself together, but Bart doesn't know how he can.

  
The speed is so _tempting_ , see, and he's starting to lose sight of why he shouldn't give into it. No feelings. No worries. No... no anything.

  
Bart starts struggling again, pushing against the overwhelming desire to just let go, to fade into the speed and let lightning run through his blood again.  
Lightning rod, Wally said. Linda.

  
It's a long shot, Bart knows it is, because nothing he had was even close. There's one chance he has, one shot to get out of the speed force, and he's going to take it like a man grabbing for the last life vest on a sinking ship.

  
(He can feel the lightning tugging at his resolve, neatly picking away at it, and he hardens it like steel, closes his eyes, and _concentrates_.)

  
A blink. He stumbles to a stop, glancing around the room. It's not Titans Tower, he doesn't think, and it doesn't look like Tim's room at his house, either. But that's Tim sitting on the bed, staring up at him with confusion and distrust written across his face.

  
"Who are you?" he asks, grabbing the staff laying next to his bed.

  
Bart can't speak, can't move, and he can feel the lightning crackling off of his fingers. This Tim doesn't look like his Tim either - there are more lines around his eyes and he's got a beard now, and he looks like he's seen a ghost.

  
Bart barely gets a word (finally) out of his mouth before the lightning pulls him back, back into the speed force and away from this strange version of Tim who looked at him like he lost him.

  
There's another blink and Bart's in a training room, lightning bouncing off the walls and shorting the electricity.

  
"What the hell?" he hears, and struggles to turn around, only to be met with another ... different version of Tim, this one looking confused and not even a little bit worried. "Back from the future again, huh?"

  
Bart struggles to speak, to tell Tim that he's wrong, that he's not who Tim thinks he is, but the words turn into nothing more than sparks and he's pulled away again, back into the fray.

  
He curls up on himself and pulls at his hair, the pain forcing him to focus, to think about Tim, his Tim, because he's so tired and he just wants to go home to Tim and Kon and Cassie and Jay and Joan and Iris and Barry and even Wally -  
/ _CRACK_ /

  
He breaks free with a gasp, and immediately makes out Tim's face as it stares at him from the other side of the room.

  
It's finally over, and Bart is _back_ , lightning crackling around the room and illuminating the surprised look on Tim's face. And it's him, it's _him_ , he's finally here and Bart is back, he's _home_.  
He's also absolutely exhausted, muscles screaming at him as he stands in Tim's room, and yet all he can think about is how much he wants to kiss him and how much he really can't. He can feel the speed force pulling and pulling at him, still.

  
"Bart?" Tim whispers, eyes wide in disbelief. In a second he's reaching out, and Bart is leaning, stumbling forward, desperate to stop feeling like he's going to be thrown back into the lighting. They connect, Tim's hands latching onto his arms to catch him when Bart collapses to the ground, knees slamming down.

  
He shakes as the lightning finally leaves, dancing away in trails of light that jump off of Bart's skin. The... pulling feeling is slowly, slowly sluicing away, as Bart focuses on the feel of Tim's hands on his arms, the cold floor under his knees, the sun angling in through the blinds, the faint sound of Beast Boy and Cyborg arguing over a game in the background.

  
When he was... younger. When he was younger and staying with Max and still impulsive, still new, still living like he was invincible, he would get lost. Get lost in the speed. In the space between molecules. Max and Wally could pull him back, and so could Kon if Kon wasn't too busy flirting with anything that moved. But. Max is gone (he's been gone he's gone he's _gone_ ) and Bart can't -

"...okay? Bart, say something, _please_  -" and Tim's speaking to him, hand pressed to Bart's cheek, and Bart can finally look up, finally focus in on Tim's face, and on impulse he pitches forward, head buried against Tim's shoulder. Tim, for his part, barely even moves, falling back only a little in surprise. Bart reaches out, fingers curling into Tim's shirt, and breathes.

  
The... speed attack, or whatever it was, is fading, and Bart can feel the lightning leaving his blood and he can feel himself start to settle, start to pull back together into a human being again.

  
He's surprised Tim can even touch him, that he's somewhat solid, with the way his molecules are running haywire.

  
"... with me, okay, Bart?" Tim has a nice voice. "Bart! Breathe with me, okay. In.... out.... yeah, like that, okay, just breathe, calm down."

  
Bart does. He counts in his head and lets Tim's voice wash everything else out.

  
It's maybe five minutes before he starts feeling like himself again, like he isn't going to fall apart and fade away again.

  
He breathes in again, shaky and distorted, and swallows.

  
"How-" he tries to say, but his throat feels like sawdust. He coughs, wincing, and Tim's hands leave his face.

  
Panic flashes through him as he reaches out blindly, terrified of being sent away again, and latches on to Tim's hands.

"Wait, waitwaitwaitwait..." he's babbling, and he knows he's talking too fast for Tim to actually understand him but he can't stop.

  
"Bart. I'm just going to get you some water. It's on the nightstand, I won't leave. Can you open your eyes?"  
Bart does, slowly, and he can barely breathe for the relief that courses through him when he actually sees Tim standing there, when he realizes that he's here, it's real, he's back.

  
"Can I get the water?" Tim asks, and his voice is calm and his hands are steady where Bart is clenching on to him but his eyes are absolutely terrified, darting back and forth as though he's waiting for Bart to disappear again.

  
Bart nods, and forces himself to let go. Thankfully, Tim moves quickly and is back in front of Bart quickly, holding a glass out to him as condensation drips onto the floor.

  
He drinks it like a man lost at sea, and he never thought water could ever taste this good. Tim helps him hold it, as Bart's arms still shake.

  
Tim doesn't let him speak or move or do anything until all of the water in the glass is gone. Bart dimly realizes that maybe he should eat something, that maybe that's why he feels so weak, but he can barely fathom standing on his own, much less walking to the kitchen with Tim to get something, to deal with everyone right now.

  
"How long was I gone?" Bart asks, finally. His voice cracks.

  
Tim rubs at his forehead. "Uh. We fought Inertia two days ago. Cassie and Kon spent the day you went missing just, looking. I was monitoring security cams from the Tower. Kory and Vic were listening to any interplanetary chatter to see if you showed up out there." He chuckles, a little bit, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Guess now we know why we didn't hear anything."

  
Bart laughs, too, hollow and tired and drawn-out. "Yeah, I guess not."

  
"What happened?" Tim asks. "I mean, if you want to talk about it."

  
Bart shrugs. He's going to have to tell the story anyway, and maybe if he tells Tim then Tim will actually tell everyone else for him and Bart won't have to repeat himself a thousand times.

  
"Inertia pulled me into the speed force," Bart says. "I don't - I don't really know what happened. Every other time Max or Jay or Wally has been there to pull me out, like when we fought Superboy Prime. But this time, I just - I didn't have anyone and I got lost."

  
Tim is silent for a second, and Bart can tell that he's close to bursting with questions and not sure why he's holding back. Eventually Tim turns to face him.

  
"How did you get out?" he asks, and Bart flinches.

  
"I - Ialmostdidnt-" Bart whispers, because he can still feel it inside him, feel the pull and tug of the speed force and the realization that he could be stuck forever like Max or Barry and be trapped, never escaping. "But I -" he pauses to swallow.

  
"Wally told me, once, that he got out of the speed force by finding his lightning rod. Or, that's what he called it."

  
Tim nods. "Yeah, Dick's told me enough times by now about Wally appearing in a bolt of lightning to him when they were younger."

  
"Yeah. It draws you back home. Max's was his daughter, Wally's is Linda -" and he notices Tim freeze up for a millisecond before his shoulders untense - "and Barry's was Iris."

Tim doesn't look... he doesn't look uncomfortable, necessarily, but Bart can't read his expression and he feels like shrinking into himself because he knows what it sounds like, and he wants to know what Tim's thinking just as much as he doesn't.

"We can - can we talk about it later?" Tim finally says, and he's not as stilted and stiff as Bart thought he would sound, not after that bombshell got dropped on him, but Bart's not going to look this particular gift horse in the mouth. He nods almost frantically, scooting backward a bit.

"You should - you should get some sleep," Tim says, and stands up. Bart follows suit, casting a worried glance toward the door. "You don't want people to see you."

As always, Tim's guess is spot on. Bart doesn't react but he knows that Tim knows he's right, so it doesn't matter anyway.

"You can stay in here, I'll head to your room," Tim says, grabbing up a pair of sweatpants.

Bart collapses into Tim's bed, eternally grateful. He loves the rest of them, he does, but he feels like he's been running on empty for days on end and one hug from Conner might actually break him this time around. He can deal with everyone tomorrow, with their questions, with their concern. Tomorrow. He promises.

He hears a rustling and sees Tim grab a spare set of sheets, slung over his arm as he steps back from the bed.

And Bart realizes - Tim can't leave, he can't be alone, because what if he loses himself again, what if he's stuck again, what ifwhatifwhatifwhatif-

What comes out is a half-garbled choke, and then Bart shakes his head and tries again.

"No, Tim, wait -" Bart says, grabbing at Tim's sleeve as he turns to walk away. "Can you - imsoscaredimgoingtogetstuckagain and i can't - canyoustaycanyoustaycanyoustay please."

Tim's face softens, almost, and he looks down. "Yeah, uh -" he says, voice rough. "I can stay, Bart."

He sits down on the edge of the bed and runs a hand through Bart's hair, stroking along his scalp. Bart closes his eyes and focuses on that touch and nothing else, willing his breathing to settle into something resembling normal.

The bed shifts and he feels Tim lay down next to him, hesitant and awkward. They haven't really - they haven't really talked since the. Since the last time. Not about personal stuff, not about... anything outside of the Titans. Bart doesn't know how to.

He risks moving closer to Tim, close enough to feel Tim's breath move his hair, almost close enough to bury his hands in Tim's shirt and just hold on.  
He doesn't care anymore. He leans forward and presses his head to Tim's chest, wraps his fingers in Tim's shirt, and breathes.


End file.
